Normally I love my Fridays, they are good days for me. The weekend approaches with promise of relaxation and fun. However it isn’t always so. Some turn out to be like today, full of stress and irritation, anger with a bit of sadness mixed in. It wasn’t going to be like this today, really. I had plans of a nice dinner later tonight, a few hours break from my hectic life. So suddenly things change, my mood for example was a cheery sort of mood this morning with a bit of anxiety due to my agenda for the evening. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out with friends.
One thing or another happens and causes your mood to drastically change. You find out something you loved is now closing because of another persons actions. Sadness creeps in. You try not to allow it power over your emotional stability. You brace yourself for the irritation that comes with this kind of sadness and tell yourself “I will not let it ruin my mood”. So you don’t, you take the time to remember what was and accept in letting go what will no longer be. Then once more your mood shifts. I’ll use a sports metaphor to put to rest the notion that I despise all sports (yeah I’m looking at you Mac ha-ha). You’re thrown a curve ball. The ball looks as if it’s going straight but as it gets closer to you, it literally curves and throws you off. I was thrown off, not aware that what was coming straight at me was going to be so wrong. Life is often like this.
Again you tell yourself “I will not let it ruin my mood”. Except this time the hurt is deeper, the anger more real and not something you care to bury inside. You lash out and you want so badly to hurt anything else in return for what you’re feeling. Maybe you do, or you don’t. It doesn’t matter, you’ll still feel the same later. Logging off you think the anger and pain will subside simply because you’re not linked to the world in which the hurt took place, but that is foolish thinking. It stays with you and just like that rubbish saying “Time will heal” you realize it just might be true. Time is what you need, time away, time to reflect and possibly forgive.
The great thing about bad Friday’s? They come to an end.
Location: Inaka (I will miss you)